The last 4 weeks I’ve been feeling good to fair
I even managed to do something with my frizzy hair
Spent a few days out with friends from afar
Driving around singing along in the car
I gave them lessons in making cuppa teas
I’ve never known girls to bicker like these
I’ve even been a bit hyper the last few days
The energy I had left me amazed
I even left the bed in my room
Making the most of this mini boom
Catching up with the TV I’ve missed
Adding a rash to the growing sick list
Though sadly today my body has slowed down
But with my friend Bundy I have no time to frown

Up before the alarm clock calls
I hearing the muttering from behind the walls
They say the sun is out its fine and dry
I look out the window not a cloud in the sky
I run downstairs and help pack up the car
A journey to make that is not to a far
Shorts and t-shirt, bucket and spade
Sunglasses and hat to give me some shade
The feeling of joy when my feet touch the sand
Building a castle with my own fair hands
Run to the sea on this hot summers day
Splashing around enjoying the play
Crisp blue waters warm like a bath
Hoping my life doesn’t stray from this pat
Sandwiches eaten, ice cream in my hand
The sun beating hard my skin is nice and tanned
Photos are taken and memories are made
We stay till the evening when the sun starts to fade
Strolling back to the car with a smile on my face
I hope it’s not long till I return to this place

The thoughts in my head whizz around all day
Why can’t I just get them to stay away?
I don’t know what they mean or what imp to do
I just wish they would give some kind of clue
My heart weighs heavy is this grief
Who stole my life come back here you thief
You play with my thoughts feelings and touch
Someday for me it all gets too much
I’m begging you know just please let me go
I’m fed up now of putting on a show
I just want to be free and let it all out
Stand on the roofs and give a huge shout
I feel like I have lost all of control
I’m falling deeper inside the black hole
Is there some light I can see at the end?
I just want to cry I just can’t pretend
I know tomorrow the day may seem bright
But as today goes on I have lost all my fight

More Tests To Be Had

Hellooooooo

Well I've had a busy few days recently so I will try and keep it brief and explain whats happened.

On Friday I had my 2nd Pathways to Work interview, now this will be brief as I learnt nothing new, basically it went over the 1st interview, briefly touched upon my 0 points from the ESA medical, explained my current work situation and within half an hour I was home......
I have another one at the end of this month, although given some current circumstances which I wont go into at the moment it could be worthwhile.....(This is all to do with work by the way!)

I was quite knackered to be fair over the weekend....as on Wednesday I had my hair cut, had lunch at my Mum's and then spent a good 4-5 hrs at my best mate's house....and I think then with having the interview over the weekend I felt it.

As we all know I have a fantastic husband and he just left me to rest, and he did the cooking etc over the weekend.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to see the Gastro Consultant about my stomach acid and constant indigestion/heartburn etc.....as expected I am to hopefully in a few weeks have an endoscopy (camera down my throat) and also a scan on my liver/gallbladder to make sure that is all ok too.
The consultant was very good, very thorough in his questions and listened carefully to my replies and what I had to say, so lets hope these tests come soon, and if there is a problem it can be fixed.

I also had my B12 injection yesterday, pretty painless apart from slight arm ache after it, today as normal I feel a bit tired after it, and last night I had mad dreams...which I always do too, the night of the injection, but I am hoping given a day or two I will feel the benefits from it.

This weekend I have friends coming round for some drinks/food.....Now I have been of alcohol and take-aways for lent...but one day with a few drinks isnt all that bad is it??? I mean I have done 2 weeks and that is a big achievement for me......I was even tempted to get some chippy chips yesterday but stayed strong and declined........Surely one night isnt going to be that bad........I think I deserve it

I am looking forward to it too...so I am gonna take things easy for the next few days so I will have some energy for Saturday!!!!


So today's picture is of those crazy friends of mine that are coming!!! These guys are great!!!

I have used this picture before but I love it!!

Thanks for reading again!!!! I will blog soon......take care love LFB xx

Saving Energy...Appts Coming

Hello All

Well....Not a great deal has happen this past week or so........

Details on the house move are the council have said I could have a house as only me and ferg...but I could have a 2 bed flat?!?!? Yes makes sense doesn't it...anyhow I penned an email to my local MP to see if he can help as I would like a house so we had a garden.....while it would still be within the grounds of a house at least in the summer months I could sit outside easily and not be couped up most days......so my local MP is looking into it for me.....personally I cant see the difference between a 2 bed house and 2 bed flat.......so things are just crazy.......

I have my 2nd Pathways to Work interview on Friday morning....at 9am!!! arghhhh
I will let you know how it goes....it should be pretty painless....just boring......but I will continue to play by the rules......
I still haven't heard anything from my appeal.....probably will take the DWP 6 months but that's okay, I will wait.....I'm not moving anywhere fast!!

Finally had a letter from Stafford hospital too, I go to see the gasto doctor on Monday...Mid morning...I think this is just an initial appt...so hopefully that may discover a reason why I get constant indigestion/heartburn, acid reflux and food sticking in my throat.....

Then on Tuesday I have booked in to have my B12 injection...I haven't had once since December so I am hoping this will give me a boost...a boost that will be more than welcome as well.....

I'm still on the iron tablets....still giving my belly a bit of discomfort but nothing too major but I will see my GP also next Tuesday if I can and talk with him about my last lot of bloods....as they re-did my B12 so I'm interested in what that reading was.

I have also for the first time ever given up not one but two things for lent, I'm not religious but I just wanted to see if I still had some of my grit, determination and fight left in me, so I have given up too big things for me......Takeaways....of all kinds, and also alcohol.....I'm hoping that I will also loose a few pound in weight while I'm at it too.....This just gives me a little bit of focus back, even if it is just for a short period.....

I also have been writing letters, I have 2 pen friends, I met from the Foggy Friends forum I use, letter writing has never been a strong point for me but I am really enjoying it.....I love receiving and also penning a hand written letter, it seems more personal to pen on rather than type one.....

I am also joining the local M.E group, I finally found details of one in Stafford, so I hope to meet some local people who also suffer and share any tips or just general chat really.

Well that's me done for now........Today's picture is Me and hubby again.....:-D

Take care for now and thanks for reading LFB xxx

Hoping to Move...... :-)

Hi Folks

Hope your all well.....I'm pleased to report that health wise Ive had a better week, not great but better.

I started the iron tablets and apart from a few stomach cramps they gave me at first they have seemed to have helped me.....not cured me but I'll take any improvement, and in 2 weeks I will be having a B12 injection....hoping that gives me a boost as I haven't had one in 3 months....

My headaches have eased, they haven't been as frequent or as painful as they were, again a sign the iron tablets have helped.

I'm still waiting for an appointment for my endoscopy which may reveal the reason why my iron and B12 are low.....I may call them this week to see whats happening as I was hoping to have heard by now, no harm in chasing is there!

I am also hoping to move closer to my family and friends too, I am on the council waiting list and was in a non priority band, but my GP has wrote them a letter to say because of my illness and Ferg being out most days it would be beneficial if I moved near them.....They called yesterday.....ONE DAY after I posted the GP letter to say they have put me in Band 2 and that is a good high priority...........so I just have to wait now and see what properties come up.....

At the minute I'm stuck in day in day out as going to see friends and family is just to far to walk and I'm still a little too shakey to use buses and taxi's aren't cheap......
At least with this people can come and see me easily and also I can go and see them as it should all be within a few minutes walking distance which I could manage.

Work wise....I think a decision will be made very soon......I'm sad about the probability of this but deep down I know its for the best......I can then move forward and concentrate completely on my health.

Well that's all for now....As I've not been up to much

Today's picture is again of mt new friend....he is just too cute

Take care speak soon............LFB xx

Ooooo More Blood.......

Hiya Guys

Well what a weeks its been...........I managed to complete my appeal letter in 5 days......took me that long as I disagreed with 15 statements on the medical reports and I also added additional information which was "missed" !

Now I just have to sit and wait........I saw my doctor on Monday and the lovely DWP had informed him of their decision he said there is no way at this moment in time I am fit for work and he would support me, which is good. So many M.E sufferers do get get GP or any medical support as quite a huge number of medical and non-medical people STILL do not believe that this is a real illness......Yet they will prescribe tablets etc...to help.......
Luckily my GP believes me as does the neurologist, it always helps you when you have their support.

The last few days I've perked up a bit, I think because of Xmas, getting used to Ferg being with me in the day for almost 3 weeks and then him working again, and this medical and appeal I was very much down, felt battered and tired.....I think now I have settled back in a routine although I am still shattered and the headaches are raging, my mood has lifted a lot.

A letter arrived last week from the hospital, wanting me to have MORE bloods done....which I had on Monday at my GP surgery.......Yesterday Dr.Stone called me....I though oh oh....something is wrong as he has never called me.....My iron is now low, should be at a minimum 11.5 and mine is 10.....so he left me a prescription at the reception to start taking some iron tablets daily.
Low iron can caused extreme fatigue, headaches...I once again and not pinning my hope on this is why I am ill.....but you never know......I think my problems are to do with my stomach, the acid that it produces......I am hoping that the endoscopy will be soon, as if there is a problem there this will find it.

I got a new pen friend to, a lovely lady that I met through the foggy friend forum, and although we chat on there it is fun to pen a letter and send it as even better to receive a nice friendly letter in the post that is not a bill.

I love that forum too......foggy friends....we have such a laugh there, if your feeling down they will cheer you up, if you have a problem someone will have advice, and good mixture of men and women of all ages who either suffer from M.E or are a carer or parent of an M.E sufferer.....Its a fab site and has become a good companion for me during the days, as has Nando!!

So that's where I am at the minute........just waiting for my next B12 injection, seeing if these iron tablets work and appointments for the endoscopy and neurologist again......

Today's Picture is me and my darling Ferg x

Thanks for reading......Take care speak soon..........love LFB xx