Hiya again.....
Well another week has flown by, I've not been up to much....but I have done some things......
Had a bit of a rough week or so if I am honest and not all of it lay with being ill, I have made some online friends through various forums/groups associated with CFS, one was Gayle Bradford, a lovely women who I never met from Northern Ireland, most days we'd have a chat and comment on status's via facebook.
Then one day last week as I was changing my bedsheets I thought of Gayle (because she had been saying how lovely her new winter duvet was) and realised that I hadn't spoke to her for a few days and I knew she wasn't feeling that great, so I thought I'll post her a message via facebook to see how she was......Imagine the shock when I go to her wall to see an announcement that Gayle had decided to end her own life....She had just turned 32. I cannot describe how upset I was, I think partly through shock to, I just couldn't believe it, I know Gayle was poorly, although I have now since found out she was also battling some personal and horrible issues too which may have made her decision to take her own life.
Although I never met her I feel I became close to her via our messages to each other, and I know we shared alot of songs choices in common too, I hope she has now found the peace she deserves, I will always remember Gayle and was honoured to have been a friend of hers...RIP Gayle
So this did fill me with sadness last week, and probably carried on for the remainder of the week, and probably contributed to me not feeling great....
I went to the doctors on Wednesday for another blood test for coeliac disease, and this may sound strange I hope that I do have it and this contributes as to why I am poorly, so I can then start a gluten free diet and hopefully sit back watch my body heal itself as it should do and be cured......alot to ask for I know.......but I wait in hope....I am awaiting the hospital to contact me with the results...........I will keep you all updated (that's if anyone does still read this!!)
On Friday I took a trip into work for a update on my illness/health review and I know that as I have more or less in total been off for 12 months or so some decisions will have to be made soon, we will await these results and my next trip to the hospital and take it from there, obviously there is a possibility I will have to leave and I will be truly saddened by this but I must be true to myself and also the company.......I know lots of people who work there slag the place off, but that is one thing I will never do, my friends there always give me well wishes, even before I was ill I have always found support within the walls there too......I have been there 9 yrs.....god knows how I lasted so long, but I feel part of the place, like alot of my growing up (and yes I still need to grow alot more!!) has taken place there.
I also went into the main part of the building whilst there something I haven't done since April, and I did feel sick and nervous as I did it, but it was nice to see some people and have a few brief chats.......made me realise that I do want to go back health permitted of course...but who know...one day at a time.....and I will do what i right for ME....no-one else....I will control my destiny, so we will see in the new year where I'm headed.
Well that brings me up to currently, and I am resting lots this week and taking 4 B12 tablets a day (I can take upto 5) although the docs say they don't work they are giving me a little bit extra....as its me best chumleys wedding this weekend in Scotland, we are going Friday, wedding is Saturday then travel back Sunday...I cant wait, 6 months ago I didn't think I would make it...but I'm so excited.....I was also sad last week as Saturday was her hen night and I didn't go, I knew it would be stupid if I did and be I'll from ill and being at the wedding is more important....I sent Ferg on the Stag do though, so at least one of went...:-)
So take care for now guys.....I will give you a full update on the results/how this weekend went etc.....
So on Wedding themes here's one from my special day
Catch ya soon...love lots LFB x
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