OOOO I am here!!!

Hiya........Yes I have left it a long time again since I last blogged....

There is a reason for this and it may become apparent in this post, but basically I have been extremely peed off and frustrated and I didn't want this blog to become dark and gloomy like the weather, although I wanted to put all my thoughts and feelings in this for my own sake I would have ranted and spouted crap (no I don't usually!!!) and that wouldn't have been helpful to me or you reading this trying to understand this illness........

Anyhow I will begin with seeing my doctor on the 12th November, we gain chatted about things I explained that how for 2 weeks the injection gave me my old life back but had now evidently worn off, but he didn't want to increase my dosage, he wants to see how the next 2 injections go and then discuss that further....fair enough

I had my second B12 injection on 16th Nov and by the following day I felt great again, even tackled the spare bedroom....I was so looking forward to my birthday on 18th.....but no such luck, whilst I woke up feeling great after getting ready to go out I was sick......not sure of it was a 24 hrs bug or side effect form the injection...but I spent most of my birthday in bed......grrrrr.....

So the injection has not had the same effect as last time but it did have a positive effect initially......so I am not too dejected...it maybe a case that I need as I said before alot of B12 to improve my levels then an injection every month to maintain this....(even the nurse who injected me said that is usually the case) but I will just have to Wait for the next injection in 3 weeks now....

Then onwards to the 19th and my return the hospital, I saw a different neurologist this time not that i minded, she was really welcoming and nice, she did say to me that the MRI scan that I had on my brain (and I have been told about 3 times its all clear) show "Cholesterol Graining" on it...whatever that is, as she was unsure and will speak to the radiologist, I am not too worried though as I googled it and nothing came up, and she did say it could be something I was born with, and I know that a radiologist has looked at this already, although it does still make you worry slightly when you don't know for sure......

I spoke with her about the B12 and she wants to do YET MORE BLOOD!! to check my anitibodies and also to see if I have Coeliac Disease which is a reaction to some food products ie wheat...it maybe that I need a gluten free diet.....this maybe the reason that my B12 is low as having this is a malfunction in your stomach/intestine which does not absorb your food and therefore nutrients properly, it may also mean that I may have to have the camera down my throat!! The joys.........

That brings me back to my first paragraph of why I haven't blogged, I feel like I have been on a roundabout and just need it to stop, I am grateful for all the tests they are doing however just wish that they were all done in one go, everything seems to be taking too long......I will be going back to the hospital in 2 months but I will be on the phone before that for the blood results (I have the blood taken on Wednesday by the way as it was too late at the hospital on Thursday for it to be done)

However my life is just at a standstill at the minute....Do I need to quit work? Will I get better? etc etc....

I know i will get answers soon I just feel after 12 months I am no nearer to getting a confirmed diagnoses that I was in January.....so I have been quite down and miserable lately and I am better off alone when this happens as I will bite someones head of for no reason and that is not fair.....

I am just very lucky to have Ferg, my family and some very close friends to help pull me through times like this as it hard for me, but also hard for them to see the bubbly character that is usually me being on the floor....it is hard for them to deal with too......If it is that I have CFS/ME then fine I will accept that make changes in my life I need to a move on......if its something else then fine I will tackle that too.....its just the not knowing that really pees me off......

So that's that for now.....sorry its been longer than before but I hope you understand........

I need to cheer up soon as in 2 weeks my best friend gets wed at Gretna Green and I must be there and happy to.....but being around my friends will be a happy affair anyhow..............

Oh and I have Peter Kay tickets for next May too.....lets hope I'm well enough to go....I need some laughter

Today's picture is me and hubby...Love you Ferg.....xx


Take care guys and catch ya soon love LFB xxx

A Longgggggggg Week.......................

Hiya Guys.....

Well its been a long week for me this week......I am sad to report that I haven't been that great......

The tiredness and a few headaches have kicked back in again....although I'm used to that now, so I have been very limited in my activities and mainly rested.....

Again though I'm not sad about it, and I'm actually looking forward to my next injection on Monday 16th Nov, but before that I see my GP on Thursday and I will chat to him about the effects the B12 injection and hoping he may increase the dosage....I'm not holding out for that though as I see the neurologist on 19th of this month and I aim to get more joy then, as I am sure my GP will say lets just wait.....TOO predictable.....

The good thing though is that I am still resisting the urge to sleep in the day and therefore I am sleeping at night a solid 8-9 hours....It is important to keep that routine as it does help.....

I did get a little moody last week towards the end of the week, I think that's just the tiredness and everyone gets niggly when they are tired, maybe I show it more than others...That's the red-head coming out in me

The weekend my mood lifted not sure why, maybe it was due to all the Remembrance parades etc...Makes you realise that its important to concentrate on the life that you have rather than what you had before or what you don't have.....

Anyhow so I am 6 days away from what will hopefully be another injection of power in me.....good timing for my birthday next week to.........

Today's pic is me and my bestest Chumley....x

Take care and will blog soon......love LFB xx

Two fab weeks.......Now its wearing off....

Hiya guys.....

Well I'm sad to report that after two weeks of feeling great I am now on a downward spiral to tiredness and headaches again.........

I say I'm sad but I suppose I am not really THAT sad as it meant the the injection worked....okay so I need to the the doctor again soon.....in 11 days and my next injection is in 14 days.....well I've coped for 10 months or more like this so I'm sure I can cope a few more days.........

I am amazed at how much the injection did improve my life though....no tiredness...(just the normal day-day tiredness we all feel) no headaches it was great.....I am hoping that during my visits to the docs and the specialist within this month will see them agree with me and give me more regular doses of B12 to really get my levels up then have them monthly or so to maintain them.......

I will convince them it is the way to go.....and fingers crosses they will see that too...

I felt myself going downhill on friday in all honesty...and we had been invited to a party so I said to hubby lets go as I think the next two weeks are going to be rough for me, and it was really good to again go out.

I saw and chatted to lots of friends I haven't seen in a long time, which was really nice and had lots of nice comments come my way about this blog in particular.

I managed to stay until just after 11pm and when I go in I was shattered and to be honest yesterday and today I have spent in bed as I am as flat as a battery with a horrid headache that tablets just wont shift.....I even had a cat nap this afternoon which is something I haven't done i a while but nevermind that sometimes just cannot be helped..

So I will have to go careful this next two weeks and be conservative with my energy...that's ok though I get through it........

So just a short post today to give you the heads up of where I am.....

Today's picture is from Mablethorpe to...!

Thanks again for reading....See you all soon.....LFB xx

Improvement noted...and loving It........

Hello Again followers....How are we all?

What a great week it has been for me.....As you know from my last post things after the B12 injection had improved but that was just after 2 days......

Well Thursday came and I'll be honest I thought it hadn't worked as I felt POO.....however I did feel like it was just a cold bug that I had, so I tucked myself up in bed with some lemsip and rested up, trying not to let myself get down about it......and.........

Friday came and I felt fab again.......Phew it must have been a day of the sniffles and nothing more, I know its easy for both me and yourselves to say don't build your hopes up about the B12 injection but although I try and describe it as best I can here, you really don't understand how the last 10 months have effected and how I have felt.....it is hard not to get my hopes up, I know I shouldn't but after all I am only human (yes I am) and many of you would be the same.....

Anyhow Friday night and my 14 year old cousin Rudy was having his first competitive boxing match at a local club and at 5.30pm I decided I really wanted to go and support him, and he was fab, he lost on points but he was very courageous for a 14 year old in a room of about 500 or so watching, I was so proud of him and he will have many wins under his belt soon enough.....

I got through the night..(I say got through....) I enjoyed the night hugely, I had no ill effects and stayed out until 11.30pm and had a few shandies....YIKES!!! I really though on Saturday I was going to pay for this.....

Saturday morning came and after opening my eyes and waiting for my body for feel like a ton of bricks I was ok again!! I even went to town for 9am the feelings I had was the best I had experienced for a very long time, on Friday and Saturday a lot of folk commented how well I looked....and I felt NORMAL....(whatever normal is)

Saturday during the day I didn't really do much, some washing, but mainly pigged out as my real diet started on Monday so i was having a big blow out.....again!

Sunday was a great day too.....I prepared and cooked the dinner with the help of Ferg.....and of course my beloved Liverpool pulled out a stunning victory against Man Utd which just made me the happiest red in town........feeling great and putting one over the scum.......happy days........I even had a few bottles of Bud.....8 in fact but in the last few months when two were knocking me about...the 8 went down just fine......now I know I'm getting better.....

Today again has been a good day...I have flashed the bathroom liked you would believe......cleaned the ceiling tiles and wall tiles.......and did some other bits of housework.....okay so feeling good does have its downside...:-/

I hope this B12 lasts......I will be going back to the docs in 3 weeks for my next one as well as my 2nd Appt with the neurologist....I'm hoping the injections will continue in this vain for me.......for the first time in a long time I am looking forward to doing things again and even a return to work which I have missed....

I know it will all take time, my body has been dormant for 10 months, I need gentle exercise,a good diet to help rebuild me and also repair my confidence as that too was a little shot.....

So fingers crossed I maintain this.......I even walked to the shops the last few days on my own too.....which is a big things as although I've been out when I've been ill I have always been with someone...so this is a big step too.....

I have posted another holiday snap today.....these were the tasty crusty cobs from a lovely little bakery we found....even better with chips on....

Tale it easy peeps and I'll write again soon.....thanks for your well wished and support....Love LFB xxx

Holiday, Physio and Injection........!

Wow Guys.....Been a long time....sorry.......I must have been having fun...!

Well where do I start again......I know with the holiday........

It took us about 3 1/2 hours in the car to get to Mablethorpe, straight forward journey really and I was okay......We had a nice clean caravan allocated to us and even though it was rather chilly at night it was fine.......I actually did more than I ever thought I could and really chilled myself out and relaxed.....Usually when we have "English holidays" Hubby and I spend a vast amount of time in the pub and arcades....but on this trip because I didn't have the luxury of lots of energy we just strolled around, visited the shops and enjoyed the sea air......we walked along the beach each day stopping at little cafes for refuelling cups of tea every so often so I could rest to......

I felt alive again....we only went out the one night when England played to a little pub 2 mins walk from the caravan and then we were home by 10pm as I had consumed a few too many shandies.....but it was fun...

The 4 day break did me some good as it showed that even though I have CFS it doesn't mean i cannot enjoy life, I just need to go a little slower sometimes and I accept that, and I probably enjoyed this break alot more as I fully appreciated what I was able to do.

We are even planning a return trip for July next year regardless of my recovery, it was lovely and I would like to stroll on the beach in my summer clothes rather than a hoodie and woolly hat next time, and my photo's of the fantastic seal sanctuary didn't come out (bloody memory card!) so I need some more, and I must visit the fab bakery again too....:-)

So with the holiday over, I spent the majority of the weekend in bed as I was exhausted and physio and the injection where taking place on Monday.

The physio was ok again, much of the same really, I have been doing the exercises and we discussed that and I explained that I was feeling tired after doing it but at the same time I felt like my body was waking up too...so I am to carry on doing the exercises and return to him again in 3 weeks....I think its all about finding the right balance.....

Then we come to Monday afternoon and the B12 injection, oh my days, I have never been sop nervous in the build up to it, I think mainly excited/nervous but my palms were sweating, my stomach churning.....I got to the docs about 3:40pm and was called in almost immediately (which I was glad about) The injection was a red fluid (like ribena really) and a very small amount, not that I was expecting a huge amount, the jab was about 2 seconds long.....and off I went........

When I got home I felt fab and went for a run....( ha ha ha only kidding....wish that was true though!!!)

I just sat waiting all Monday night for the change to happen......and waited and waited....its not like say having a rash when you can see it clear up, and I felt quite tired, probably because I had worked myself up into such a state, so I went and had a hot relaxing bath and early night.....

Yesterday when I woke I felt groggy and it still took me the normal couple of hours to start functioning slightly, and I know the only way I would know if the B12 injection had worked was to test it........I did all the housework, made breakfast, lunch and tea and also some exercise.....I did start to feel slightly tired about 2.30pm but it passed quite quickly and it was only tiredness....I went to bed about 11pm last night still wondering if it had worked or was I just having a "Good Day"......

Today I woke up and felt quite bright quite soon after I had opened my eyes.....I made breakfast for me and hubby again.......and I have been to Asda too.....I do feel more bright and alert but a slight twinge of tiredness does creep in too.....that is probably expected too also considering what I have been through the last 10 months or so......

So am I cured?!?!? I don't know at this point.....I guess its still "Lets suck it and see"

Ferg says I seem much brighter and alert..............I go back for the 2nd jab in 4 weeks which also ties in to my next appt with the specialist.....it may be a case I need more B12 now to get my levels up and then have the injection more spaced out to maintain my levels.......

Its all still early stages but the signs are good......

As always I will keep you updated more regularly than I have done in the last few weeks...(if I'm not out having too much fun!)

Thanks for reading and also for your continued support and well wishes....

Today's picture is from my holiday last week......Seaside tea and a ginger biccy on the sea front..:-)


Take care see you soon....LFB xxx

Working Hard on Physio................

Hiya.......Well I havent left it a week again have I.....he he

So what have I done since we last met.....Sunday I relaxed alot, apart from watching my beloved Liverpool FC being beat by Chelsea, I was not amused.....I cant wait to get back to Anfield as soon as I feel better although the rate my boys are going I may not want to......but of course I will...:-)


So Monday came and I made my way in the afternoon to the physio, his name is Russell and quite a nice bloke, probably around my age maybe younger.....



He asked me what I could and couldn't do physically, how I get fatigued etc......I do not do much in the session other than talk to him and he gave me approx 10 exercises that I need to do at least 3-4 times a week, and also try some walking with a gradually increase of time I spend doing it....



I am to do the exercises at home and document briefly how I feel doing it and take that back to him on 19th October (the same day as my first B12 injection), not sure it that is wise but I will see how it goes......



I have done the exercise each day since Monday and finding them okay, and I finding muscles move I didn't know I had! I will continue to do them as its about keeping my body active and so so dormant as that will create muscle wastage....



I have been fatigued after doing them however after resting I feel OK......and although I am going away next week, I will still do them otherwise this week would have been pointless....



Had another chat with work today to discuss my progress and will go in for another health review at the end of the month, hopefully by then I will know if the B12 injection had helped, my boss has also asked me to the Xmas party which is nice considering I haven't been there most of the year, but what gave me a boost was when she said.."I'm still part of the team" Those words have given me some more hope of going back, although I am not naive enough to think I will just waltz back in and do my old job just like that, but I will cross that bridge when I need to and I am not worrying about that now.........I am happy that I am still officially employed, it does give my hope and feels like I haven't been abandoned on the scrap heap just yet.......I have said before and will say again, not many businesses would have treated me like this and I can only thank them for their support.....I say them but I actually mean Jayne my boss, and also some colleagues that read this and text me or say hi via facebook, all of that means alot to me so thanks guys....x




Anyhow I must start to pack my clothes for my little trip to the seaside.....why on earth I want to go the the seaside in October is beyond me.....no sun lotion being packed....extra thermal clothes I think......But oh the seaside fish and chips......TASTY...:-) and the sea air may do me some good.........




I will probably blog again before Monday and keep you updated on my progress.........



Today's photo was almost 2 years ago in Cuba.......Cant wait to return there


Keep Happy everyone........see you soon..................LFB......xxx

Feeling like poop....but possible cure???

OMG I know I left it a week again to blog but I have been a little unwell this week and not felt like doing much......

This week has been a slow one for me with a few down days as I wasn't able to get out much or even get on the wii fit again like last week, but I sat back and thought....I had a good run of things and its caught up with me so ride the wave, rest up and start again....

So that is what I have done, although today I feel rather sick and I have a blistering headache, I think there are a few nasty bugs going about and I probably picked one up somehow, so its Saturday afternoon and I'm resting in bed....

I have been the doctors this morning..yes a Saturday morning appt I was surprised too....my blood results for B12 were in and although the amount of B12 has increased slightly (thanks to the food and tablets no doubt) it is still low, so the result.......well The GP wanted to wait again to see how I carried on with the tablets I was taking (there is no prescription for better tablets and the food) and then review it again, I want so keen to keep waiting so he suggested I waited until I saw the consultant again next month again I said well they wanted me to speak with you.......I said to him can the symptoms I show be a cause from B12 deficiency and he said yes but it could also be a red herring..............

So the big questions would it harm me in anyway to try the B12 injections now.....No was the answer...but still he wasn't keen...so I usually just sit back and take that but I knew if I left the surgery at that point I would regret it....so I just said plain and simple I want the injection......please if there is no harm in having it lets try......and he agreed then.....I mean I have been ill since December, and my GP has been brilliant and explains everything and I really didn't want to get uppity or snotty with him and I didn't I just asked.....

I am having my first injection on 19th October....as I am away the week before and that is the soonest, I am looking forward to it in a way although I will say again I am not pinning my hopes on it although it is difficult not to sometimes....

The agreement is I will have one injection each month for 3 months see how that goes....well I cannot complain at that now......I hope this is the answer but if not that I will soldier on as before and work out how to live my life the comfortable way from there on.........

That's it really for this week........like i said I'm a little unwell at the minute and not up to writing much but I know a few people like to read this and its an easy way of keeping you updated.....

I hope you all have a fab weekend too.........

Today's picture is another wedding one from Cuba.......3 years ago on the 11th October.....WOAHHHH


See you soon......LFB xxx